Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I haven't been laid since Bush was president.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I haven't been laid since Bush was president. http://tfl.nu/3tqj
  Replies (33) Good night (546) Bad night (2888)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude

  (765): View more from Indiana

  call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude (765): call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing http://tfl.nu/wjo2
  Replies (41) Good night (1775) Bad night (3288)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): i just google searched "what time does taco bell open" http://tfl.nu/oq99
  Replies (24) Good night (3038) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him http://tfl.nu/5c6r
  Replies (144) Good night (17857) Bad night (3044)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife. http://tfl.nu/0n10
  Replies (7) Good night (4710) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break. http://tfl.nu/4l91
  Replies (11) Good night (4334) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet. http://tfl.nu/rqq2
  Replies (8) Good night (5010) Bad night (1141)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic http://tfl.nu/n8k4
  Replies (10) Good night (3585) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course. http://tfl.nu/y9iu
  Replies (56) Good night (16409) Bad night (1600)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse. http://tfl.nu/qxpq
  Replies (6) Good night (2562) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"? http://tfl.nu/xfwq
  Replies (6) Good night (1313) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass http://tfl.nu/ww71
  Replies (3) Good night (854) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/64c7
  Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows." http://tfl.nu/omr4
  Replies (4) Good night (1389) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon" http://tfl.nu/mddc
  Replies (4) Good night (830) Bad night (271)

Randomize