God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.