So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
