Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
