Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
