I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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