btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just gargled with NyQuil
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
