If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize