P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize