I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We're too hungover to prance.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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