First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Someone signed my nipple.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize