our cab driver is having phone sex.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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