I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize