yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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