I'm going to jail i love you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
