Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
