but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
