Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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