that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
