He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize