So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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