I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
