the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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