Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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