im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
