So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Randomize
