Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
