Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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