She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
