Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
