you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
