I love black thongs
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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