Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
