I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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