if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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