We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
How naked do you want me to be?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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