Old men and throwing up are my life now.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
