the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
