Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
