i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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