I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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