just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
