i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
