im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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