I am in a vortex of obligation.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
