3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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