I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
