and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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