You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
