If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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