just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize