This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
