I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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