whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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