I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a beard to bite.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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