I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
