this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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