I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
