Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
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I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
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we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy