Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
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the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
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He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk