I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole