so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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