Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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