Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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