i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
