your thong is hanging out like whoa
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
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I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This is the high leading the old right now
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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